To say I am not great at blogging is a huge understatement. I am really horrible at it, and despite my best attempts to be better, I just continue to fail at updating anything. Consequently I have about 1.5 people that read my blog, which keeps my motivation at the lowest of the lows. But I do at least have a post for you today. No, there are no pictures. But there are sickeningly cute offspring quotes. Hopefully they'll tickle you, my 1.5 readers, as much as they tickled me.
Every Sunday the kids (12 and under) are encouraged to bring their "B.E.A.R.S" book to church with them. It stands for "Be Excited About Reading the Scriptures". While I think it's a great program, it's also a very new program to me so I have a hard time remembering to give it to David before church. Not to mention the fact that if he finds it during the week, he tears the pages out of it. So I had to put it away in a "special place" (a drawer) so he couldn't get to it and tear it up. Which again makes it hard for me to remember to send him with it. Here's how the conversation went down when his teacher asked him if he had it:
Teacher: David, did you bring your bear book today?
David: No, my parent's took it and put it in a "special place".....which probably means they lost it.
Yes, he sells us out on a regular basis.
When David was potty training, he didn't want to go "number 2" in the potty, so he would hold it until it had been a week since he went and it would be really painful. So our doctor recommended giving him activia or miralax so he'd have no choice but to go, and he'd learn that the potty wasn't scary. *sidenote - I'd recommend this to anyone. It worked so amazingly well.* We still give it to the boys sometimes if the need ever arises. Anyway, we never told him what activia was for, but I guess he figured it out because he said this the other day:
"Daddy, can you wait just a second? I gotta go potty cuz I ate some of that poop yogurt last night."
While walking with the boys the other night, we saw a baby rattlesnake in the road beside us. David says, "That must me a girl snake."
Me: "Why do you think that?"
David: "Because she's got diamonds on her."
Good boy. The ladies are gonna love him.
It's fun to hear the random things my kids are thinking. They have such great imaginations and sometimes the things they say are so bizarre. Case in point:
David: "Mommy, what would happen if we were all bellies and no arms and no hands and no legs and no feet and no heads and no faces and just bodies?"
????? Um.....I have no answer for that.
David and Trevor were playing so sweetly with their toys. David was a lizard and Trevor was a firetruck. They were all smiles and politeness, until I overheard this:
David: "I'm not a bad lizard.........(coyly) but I'm not a good lizard either."
Trevor: "Don't matter. I'm still gonna crash you in the face."
Can I just chalk this up to boys will be boys?
By 10 months old, David knew what sound EVERY animal made. He still has a hard time with, and little interest in, recognizing letters of the alphabet. Trevor, on the other hand, could recognize most letters of the alphabet by 16 months old, but still doesn't know or care what most animals say. It's always funny to hear him make animal noises because it seems foreign coming from him. Also, they're usually wrong. The other day I hear him say, "DIS is a puppy! Barf barf! Barf barf!"
The boys have some strange obsession with exercise. I don't know why, because we don't really do it in our household. I mean, I'd understand it if Sam and I were lifting weights and doing pushups all the time, but I can literally count on one hand how many times I've done either of those things in the last year. We do, however, have all of the equipment for it and the boys know where it is. They are constantly getting out my little pink 3 pound weights and pretending to work out. David got them out the other day and was pumpin' some iron. Then he drops them on the floor and got a really sad look on his face. When I asked him what was wrong he said, "I'm tryin' to exercise, but I just can't do it with these wittle arms."
The boys have a little dump truck toy that talks, based on how you play with it. Like if you put something in it, it says "Is that all? I can take more!" Or if you stop moving it, it says "Hey, we're not done!" Yeahhhhhh, it's pretty annoying. Anyway, Trevor was playing with it and would put his toys in the back and then drive it around the house. Well, he hit a little bump and his toys went flying out the back.
Chuck (the dumptruck) says, "Uh oh! Did I drop something?"
Trevor: "Yes you did, bump truck! Yes, you did!"
Last week I watched a little 6 month old baby for one of my girlfriends. The boys LOVED having him in the house. For starters, David has been talking for some time about how he wants a "new baby". Brother or sister, he doesn't care. He just wants a baby in the house. Sam and I always respond with the "we'll see...." and change the subject. Trevor just loves babies in general, so this little baby was a dream come true for both of them. My girlfriend dropped her baby off at 6 am, so when the boys woke up the the baby was already at our house. The next hour was the cutest I'd ever seen my boys be. Here were some of my favorites of the day:
David: (seeing the baby for the first time) "OOOOOOHHHHH MOMMY! Is THAT our new baby????""" (If only it worked that way, bud).
Trevor: (right in the baby's face, showing off everything he knows) "Baby, this is how I laugh - ha ha ha ha ha!" "Baby, this is how I close my eyes! (squints eyes shut)" "Baby, this is how I push my belly button! (lifts shirt and pokes his chubby little finger right in his button)" - and so on and so forth. For 15 minutes.
David: "Baby, this is my froggy. He's a lovie. That means I sleep with him eeeeeeeeeeeeevery night, and he's my favorite. He has wittle arms like you have wittle arms, baby! Do you see?"
Alex (aka baby): laughing and cooing, tries to grab David's face.
David: (laughing hysterically) "Mommy, did you see that? That little baby likes to poke children's eyes!"
David: (I had gone to the bathroom) "Hey wittle baby! Our Mommy's going potty real quick. But don't worry. I will take real good care of you, so you don't need to cry."
It really was so touching and heartwarming to watch them with the "wittle baby". They were so sweet to him all day.
David and Trevor like to make up words. It has been embarrassing, like when David "made up" the word "b!tc#in'" and used it for 2 weeks. Or when he "made up" the word "f***er" when we had the missionaries over for dinner. At my dad's house. Who is the bishop. Or Trevor's new "made up" word "pimp". That he uses loudly. And for everything. No these are not words they hear, they are just putting phonetic sounds together, usually resulting in things like "gleeber" or "oogie" or "mushmush". But sometimes, unfortunately, they turn into real words that my kids don't realize aren't nonsensical but very very vulgar. Especially coming from a 2 or 3 year old. Anyway, David has now started making up words for things that he doesn't know the real word for. He does understand context and tenses, so usually his made up words are pretty dang close to what they should be. But my all time favorite, that I haven't had the heart to correct yet, is "moke". As in, the past tense of "make". I haven't "made" anything, but I have "moke" a lot of stuff. It's so cute. In case you need it used in a sentence, here's one I heard last night:
David: "Trevor, you better take at least one bite. Mommy moke this yummy dinner for us, and you need to eat it."
Think he's heard that phrase before? Ha ha!
The boys love the old He-Man cartoon (the one from the late 70's) and we have it on DVD, so they pick that to watch a lot. One day when I asked Trevor what he wanted to watch, he said "T MAN!" (which is really cute because that's what we call him). So I turned it on, and out of curiosity asked him "What's his name? (Pointing to Skeletor)" Trevor says "Ski-Man!"
David is a very sensitive boy. Which I love, but can come with problems. Like getting his feelings hurt easily, or blowing things out of proportion and being dramatic. But I will take all of those things because his sensitivity also extends to other people and makes him very thoughtful. He just has a very tender heart. And he gets upset easily if he thinks someones feelings are hurt or something is sad. Case in point, I sing the boys a lullaby every night before bed. We have quite a few, some made up and some not, but sometimes David will ask for something new. So a couple months ago I busted out "hush little baby". I started singing it, and about halfway into the song David started bawling. Not like tired, dramatic crying. But real, heartbroken, very upset crying. I had no idea what happened, but after calming him down a bit I learned that he was very upset about all of the things in the song going wrong. He was so broken hearted that the horse and cart would fall over, that the bird wouldn't sing, that the dog wouldn't bark. It broke my little heart for him. So we sang the song over, this time correcting everything, "if that mockingbird WILL sing.....if that looking glass DOESN'T break......if cart and bull DOESN'T roll over..." It was the only thing that would calm him down. He now requests that song regularly, but we can only sing it in the new opposite state. If I forget, he still gets upset and will remind me that the bad things don't happen.
Trevor seems to associate mostly with the "jerks" in tv shows. He loves Gerald on Sid the Science kid, "Ski-Man" on "T-Man", and Swiper the fox on Dora. Which brings me to my new favorite (read: the one I would give up meat to get rid of, which if you know me is REALLY saying something) game of Trevor's: the Swiper game.
The premise of this game is simple: Trevor steals something right out of your hands, throws it across the room, laughs his evil laugh (which is pretty dang funny, actually), and says "You'll NEVER get it back. Heh heh heh!"
I've been trying to get a recording of this because as annoying as it is, it's also really funny. But the kid does not perform.
David is learning some new songs in Primary for the program coming up in a few weeks. One of the songs is "Praise to the Man". Not really a 3 year old song. Here's David's take on it.
David: "Mommy, who is the bad guy in that prophet song?"
David: "You know, who's that bad guy that stole the prophet?"
Me: (confused and thinking through the song but coming up with nothing) "I don't know David. Nobody steals the prophet. What part do you mean?"
David: "In the song! Sing it!"
Me: (singing the song to myself and coming up with nothing again) "David, I don't hear anything in the song about stealing the prophet."
David: "Sing it out loud...to me!"
Me: (singing the song and getting to the end of verse one) "Kings shall extol him and nations revere"
David: "Yeah! That one! That guy! That mean king! That mean king that stole the prophet. He's the bad guy!"
Me: "David, you need to sit on your bum."
David: "I can't sit on my bum, mom."
David: "Because it's cracked!"
He didn't mean this as a joke. He was being dead serious. Which made it that much funnier!
Trevor loves the show Yo Gabba Gabba. And let's face it, I do too. Because it teaches your kids all kinds of useful things through songs, like "don't eat things off the floor", "don't bite your friends", "don't knock your friend's towers down that they've taken a long time to build", "just try your food, you're gonna like it", "hitting people hurts", and so forth. It really is incredible. Anyway, Trevor sings these songs, and oftentimes fills them in with phrases he finds necessary that were left out of the originals. Such as:
"Don't bite your friends! No no! Don't bite your friends! That's scary! Bite bite bite? No no no! That's scary!"
*the phrase "that's scary" was added by my little songwriter. Way better than the original, if you ask me!
David had to give a talk in Primary last week. He did so great the whole time, and even remembered to close it properly. Then as soon as everyone said "amen", he turns to me and pleadingly says "I'm gonna give it ooooone more time." So cute.
If you've been around Trevor for any amount of time in the last month, you will know that he has a crazy obsession with Buzz Lightyear, and more specifically, being Buzz Lightyear. He is adamant about it. And walks around the house all day saying "to uhfitity, and beyownd!" I don't think he's gone more than 5 minutes all month without saying that. Well on Sunday I went to pick him up from nursery after church, and I hear (very loudly) from the hallway "to infinity, and beyond!" Only it wasn't Trevor's voice. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the nursery to find 8 little kids, all "flying" around the room, being Buzz. I hope he doesn't discover his amount of influence until later in life, otherwise we could have some serious problems.
Well, if you are reading this, that means you made it to the end. Congratulations Nicole and Shelley (since you're the only two who made it this far)! Hope at least one of these gave you a chuckle.